Am I supposed to be happy every day?

So I seem to be doing good on the Cipralex. We upped my dosage a little while ago and things seem to be going great. Ironman gets home from work last night and starts bugging and pestering me. Well I was sort of grumpy to begin with, then he starts doing that it makes me really bitchy. So he starts bugging me worse then before. From doing flylady, I have my routine that the kitchen is to be clean and dishes washed and put away before bed. We have sort of a deal that whoever cooks, the other one cleans up. I cooked last night, but I clean as I cook so the only thing to do was handwash one pan, unload the dishwasher, and sweep.

I ended up sweeping before I went to bed, even though the dishes were driving me bonkers, giving Ironman the benifit of the doubt that it would be done before he went to bed. I get up this morning and what did I find? Was it done? NOPE!!! It was worse then before I went to bed. I even found about a pound of toe nail clippings on the table in the living room!!!!!!EWWWW!!

Then when he finally gets up, after I've dropped Spidey at preschool, gone to the Dr. and gone shopping, he asks why I am bitchy. Hello!!! Must I say it again, routines, routines, routines.
I figure to make myself happy, I jsut won't depend on him for our house routines. He doesn't seem to get why it is important to me, so I will make it important for myself.

He also doesn't seem to understand that even though these new antidepressants are working, not every day is gonna be a good one. Yes the pills are helping but it is not gonna cure me, god, how I wish they could. So I think he goes on the defensive when I am bitchy. I am not saying I blame him. You have to watch out for me sometimes. I just wish he could understand that this is going to be a long process, probably the rest of my life. And I probably won't be happy every day that I take a pill. It's not a miracle drug.

Powers out

Well not anymore, but was for about 2 hours. Its fun sometimes when the power goes out, as long as it isn't for long. I'm glad that it is back now. Spidey really enjoyed running around the house with me lighting candles. Thanks to my wedding 3 years ago, I still have a ton. Not many holders though. Maybe that is what I should ask for for Christmas.

Since we have started not protecting against having babies, the subject has come up with so many people. Everyone asking when we are having another one. Not like it is any of their business or anything. I really didn't want to tell anyone, but had to tell Nat this morning. She has a gorgeous crib that I always said I wanted to borrow from her. Her other friend is pregnant right now and Nat was just about to give it to her. I had to cave and tell her. I don't want that damn crib going anywhere but my house. I know that sounds like I'm being greedy but really I will appreciate it soooo much. So much of my baby stuff went to Nat when she had Coby so I don't have much left.

My ex-sis in law was here today. Even she was asking when I was having another one. Why is it when we have sort of decided we are, everyone keeps asking? Shut up already, we will tell ya when I am.

Turkey Baster

Now that we have discussed wanting another baby, we both know that we want a girl. We have our boy, now we need a girl. When I was pregnant with Spidey, I know Ironman really wanted a girl then but we got Spidey. Which is all fine and great but now we want that girl.

I have been checking out the web for myths and wives tales of how to conceive a girl. I've learned a bit. We actually tried the turkey baster method tonight. I basically inject myself with his stuff after I've mixed it with a few drops of lemon juice. The lemon juice is supposed to kill off the Y sperm and leave the X sperm(girls) to do their job. I thought Ironman was gonna think I was nuts, havin him um you know into a cup, so I could mix it with lemon juice and then insert it. But I told him, it may increase our chances for a girl, so he went along with it easily. He really wants a Daddy's little girl since Spidey is such a momma's boy.

I asked Spidey the other day that if mommy and daddy had a baby, would he want a boy or a girl. "what ever comes out mommy, as long as its a good baby" which I am assuming means healthy. What an intelligent little boy. He doesn't care, as long as it's a healthy baby. He'll be happy with either one. That is so awesome. I hope I can get that mindset too so I won' be dissapointed if it will be a boy. I know I will love any child that I have, I just hope I can get that mindset that I won't be dissapointed either way.

Blood Tests!!!!! uck

I get to go for blood tests tomorow. Oh, what fun for my day off. Hopefully we can figure out why I am so tired all the time. Saw the Dr. today, I'm doing much better with the new anti-depressants. Just soooo tired all the time. I can never seem to get enough sleep. So we figured I would go in for blood tests to test my iron levels, blood sugar and thyroid I think. As long as we can figure out something.

I plan at night to get up and work out in the morning but when the alarm goes off, I hit it and roll over and go back to sleep. Most of the time I don't even realize that it even went off. I have to ask Ironman if my alarm went off. I have never been like this before in my life. I need to figure out what is going on.

Good morning so far!!

I've had an awsome morning so far. Didn't get up as early as I would have liked but hey. I've done all my Flylady stuff for the morning and the day. Spidey is at pre-school, I've walked the dog, and have worked out. My arms are gonna feel it tomorow.

I've been really proud of how Ironman and I have been keeping the house lately. Our house used to get quite messy at times and I know it was just because we were lazy. Mind you it was NEVER as bad as a few of the places that my mom and I lived in. I will never ever let my house get that bad. I still have nightmares of finding maggots in the sink.

But anyway, I've been doing pretty good on this Flylady stuff. Got a control journal happening, Ironman is even getting into it. So all is good. I'm never too embarassed to have company over. I really need to get those routines down and then all would be simpler. The laundry is one of the hardest and there is only 3 of us. I can't imagine if there was a baby too. This needs to stick in my head, ROUTINES, ROUTINES, ROUTINES, ROUTINES,ROUTINES, ROUTINES, ROUTINES,ROUTINES, ROUTINES, ROUTINES


AAAAHHHHHH i don't even know if I'm spelling it right anymore.

Yippee!!!!!

I got first couple of comments. That means somebody has actually read my blog. Now how exciting is that. Does anybody know how I can add the blogs that I read to my page. I am very new at this and a little computer illiterate at times. Even though I work on a computer all damn day long. Anyway, thanks for reading and I'll try to post a little more often.

I THINK WE'RE GONNA

try to have a baby...... I'm a little nervous about it but excited as well. We just finally figured, why not? We both want a little girl, and if we keep waiting I don't think we'll ever get around to doing it. Anybody know any wives tales about conceiving a girl. I would love to hear them. I know Ironman would really love to have a girl. So would I. I was asking Spidey the other day what he would want and all he says is "whatever comes out, i'll be happy with" What a cutey!!!!
Spidey finally learned how to ride his two wheeler last sunday. I just took his training wheels off and away he went. So the next day we took out his motorcycle he got for his birthday back in January. He is doing awesome. Has had a blast, he is now the most popular kid in the neighbour hood. Even with kids that are 9 and 10, and he is 4. They all love it and don't understand why Ironman won't let them ride it.
So today before we go out on the motorbike, poor little Spidey tripped over his own feet and face planted on the concrete. His face is pretty bashed up. Has road rash that keeps oozing all down his nose, on his upper lip, underneath his nose, scrapes on his forehead.
All I can think about is what the christian preschool teacher is gonna think tomorow. She thought we were crazy last week when Spidey told her about riding his motorbike. Everyone is gonna think the road rash on his face is from the motorbike. And teacher also thinks Ironman is gay I think, So now she's gonna be givin us even weirder looks.

Has the dog lost weight?

Ironman, Spidey, and I went for a 2 hour hike this morning. Straight up hill for about 2km. I thought Ironman was gonna pass out. He needs to get out there more then I do. The straight uphill was a little wake up call for me. I need to quit smoking. Spidey did really good. Kept up to us all the way. Actually with his little legs, good lungs, and no fat, he was actually passing us going up the hill. Once we got to the top, ( almost passed out but didn't, thought Ironman was gonna pass out and roll back down the hill), we had the most incredible view of our city. And the lake. It was awesome, should have take some pictures. Oh well, all the more reason to hike back up there. While we were walking though, we noticed something about the dog, I think he has lost some weight. I have been making sure he is out for a walk every day, and have taken him hiking 3 or 4 times in the past 2 weeks. I think it is all doing some good for him. He definately doesn't look like a 15 yr old dog. I'm just wondering how long he will go on.

Goin' to MEXICO

Our trip is now booked and paid for. Nat and I leave on October 15th. I can't wait. I've never been to Mexico before. Very exciting. Now I have just 45days to lose 15lbs. I wanted to be down lower then that, but that is just an unrealistic goal. I think even 15lbs could be a bit of a stretch. I have lost the same 10lbs over and over and over the last 3 yrs. Time for something new. I can do this. I just need to be a little more comfortable standing beside Nat while we are down there. She is looking pretty good lately. I am getting a little jealous. Man, I even had a dream about her new honey last night. He's pretty hot, I liked him that's for sure. My dream was pretty steamy too. Woke up a little flustered. Hee hee.