Losing weight AGAIN

I have stayed basically the same weight since Spidey was born almost 5 years. I think I have gained and lost the same 20lbs over and over and over. Even though I say I am going to do it, I have the equipment to do it, I just don't do it. I know what to do. I know what I should eat, but I decide I want that chocolate and Pepsi more then a great body I guess. I just can't seem to stop myself. I eat it all the while thinking how bad it is for me, but I go and stuff more in my damn face. I keep saying I'm gonna do it but don't. Yesterday, I think I might have gotten that little push.

Rach phoned me freaking out because she was at the dr., got weighed, and now he put her on some weight loss drugs. Meridia I believe. She also has very high blood pressure which I think is from the stress of dickhead there. Anyway, she weighs 225lbs. I was there only 3 weeks ago. Now I am down to 219.5. I think I am going to challenge her in my own little way with out her knowing. Her with the Merdia, and me with what I know I should be doing. See who looks better afterwards and is the healthiest. Who keeps it off? It will be my own personal little challenge.

I really like the Body For Life plan. It makes the most sense to me. And I want to have muscles. I don't want to be skinny, I just want to be fit, with muscles. I want people to look at me and say "Holy fuck, stay away from her, she could kick your ass"

It doesn't really make sense trying to lose weight while trying to become pregnant. But I think I can do it to a point. By makin healthier choices, in the end I know it will come off. I need to eat healthy while being pregnant, don't I. Also exercise, it is better for you when you are pregnant to exercise, you are just trying to stay healthy. I think I can do this and I will start today. In the next couple days, I might take some pictures so I know where I started.